


Stop That

by eternalsojourn



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Anal Sex, M/M, Multiple Pov, Not!Fic, Past Tony/Pepper - Freeform, Unexpected feelings, fuck buddies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-19
Updated: 2016-09-19
Packaged: 2018-08-15 22:19:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8075026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eternalsojourn/pseuds/eternalsojourn
Summary: Tony can't tell if he's changed or something else has. But has Steve always been so... ???Or: this is the author writing a not-exactly-fic-like-thing about Tony watching in horrified fascination as he recognises Feelings for Steve.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [immoral_crow](https://archiveofourown.org/users/immoral_crow/gifts).



> For @Immoral_Crow, who had the grace to ask, "and _then_ what happened?" when I started barfing words at her about what was in my head.

Steve and Tony have this arrangement whereby they fuck sometimes. It began after an extended period of no superheroey action whatsoever, followed by the promise of a good juicy mission which turned out to be a disappointingly unchallenging nonstarter. It’s just a convenient way to blow off excess energy, really. It kind of turns into a semi-regular thing after parties and such, or after missions that are exhausting and they need to wind down. It’s definitely contextual, though, and arises opportunistically.

Then one time a mission leaves them frustrated for its lack of resolution, and to add misery to misery, they get a strip torn off them by Fury. It pretty much goes without saying where they’re headed after that, and they divest themselves (and each other) of their uniforms in the elevator up to Tony’s penthouse.

And once they’re inside the room and Tony’s squashed exquisitely against the door Tony notices Steve's kisses are all... something. And were they always like that? Intense and sweet? And whenever Tony does things that aren't even all that sexy, considering the other things they're doing, like sliding his hands over Steve's ribs around to the back and up, Steve does these little shuddering sighs. 

And Tony's all, "Stop that."

And Steve's all, "...?"

"The thing. With the. Oh never mind, keep going." And Tony tries to carry on with the kissing and undressing and such. But Steve is mouthing at Tony's throat and touching Tony's skin like it's precious or something, and  _ seriously _ , was it always like that?

"That. Stop that."

"Tony," Steve says, frowning and brushing his lips over Tony's jaw. "Stop all of it?" He stills his hands and his breath is just ghosting over Tony's skin, and that's terrible, no. Don't  _ stop _ . Just.

"No, ignore me."

"Well that's hard to do," Steve says wryly, but pulls back and searches Tony's eyes for some sort of explanation.

"Never mind, carry on."

"Okay," Steve says, hands already dipping into the back of Tony's boxer briefs and tongue tracing the curve of Tony's ear.

A bit later, Tony has one of Steve's legs on his shoulder and Tony's brushing his mouth over Steve's ankle while he pushes deep inside. Steve's eyes are closed and he's sighing like he's lost in all of it and not minding at all what he looks like (he looks fucking  _ incredible _ but it seems like he doesn't know it). There's just no performance at all and Tony finds he wants to fall forward and kiss Steve breathless but at the same time doesn't want to disturb that look of bliss and Tony gets a rush of such...  _ something _ and all he can think is, " _ God, Steve, stop this, it's too much, stop being so.... don't ever... just don't ever stop. Don't go anywhere, just... _ " and the words are forming, he can feel it. He hasn't thought them yet but they're  _ right there _ waiting to be thought. He does fall forward then, grinding in and pressing his forehead into Steve's neck and just breathing him in while he pushes and rolls and comes and comes.

When he finally comes to, Tony realizes he is totally, completely, utterly fucked.

***

Steve's really enjoying this thing they have. It's sort of awful how much he looks forward to each incident with Tony but he tries to keep it in check because modern day coolness and all that. And he gets that Tony has only so much to give because he’s pulled in a lot of directions. But he cannot get enough of Tony's touch and how Tony's hands make Steve feel so desired and powerful. 

So after the mission they're up in Tony's room, he's got Tony up against the door and he gets to touch and kiss and it's wonderful, stealing Tony away from the world for a time. The skin at Tony's neck is warm and slightly salty, his pulse rapid and vital, and the tiny bit of stubble just perfectly rough under his tongue. But then Tony says, "Stop that" and Steve's stomach drops. He furrows his brow in confusion, but Tony handwaves it and tells him to continue so he does and tries not to worry about it.

But then Tony says “stop” again, and  _ no no no no no _ . Steve knew it probably wasn't going to last forever but he wanted to coast some more and no way is this over right now in the middle of touching.  _ No _ . He stops moving but can't fully pull away and says, "Stop all of it?"

And Tony shakes his head and says, "Ignore me," which Steve doesn't think is possible in any context, much less when Tony's all flushed and his hands are drawing patterns on Steve's back.

But he should really make sure so he looks into Tony's eyes to see what's up, and Tony looks... something. It's a look Steve's never seen before in those eyes. Unsure maybe. But apparently not about what they're doing because once again he tells Steve to carry on. So Steve is going to take and that run with it until Tony says otherwise because the swell of Tony's bum under Steve's hands is so inviting and it lets Steve pull Tony close and Tony's breath lets out in a sigh that sounds like he wants so much more. So how could Steve stop, honestly? And if this is it, if this is their last, Steve's damn well going to enjoy it.

So he lets himself go more than he ever has before, feeling and touching and taking his fill. And when Tony is over him and in him and is holding his leg and putting Steve’s body where Tony wants him, it’s so easy to sink inside himself, to let some feeling deep inside him get rocked and pushed like Steve is the ocean and Tony’s a storm. He glances up just once, and the look on Tony's face is almost pained, it's... Steve doesn't know. But he closes his eyes because it feels like maybe Tony didn't want Steve seeing that.

And when Tony covers Steve's body with his weight and rolls in, panting into Steve's throat, Steve holds him tight through the tempest.

When Tony finally rolls off, Steve gets the sensation of having been thrown to a precipice. Suddenly the possibility of Tony leaving, of stopping what they have yawns wide and dark in front of Steve. He'd thought he'd prepared himself for it, but now that it's here and he's staring into the abyss, Steve realizes just how much it feels like he'll lose. And he's fucking terrified.

***

They don't say anything for a long while. Tony doesn't have the words, and Steve just looks dazed, though whether that's post-sex daze or something else, Tony's not sure because had Steve looked like this the other times? Surely he'd remember that. But now everything is weird because Tony can't tell if he's changed since they came upstairs, or if something else has changed. He can't make heads or tails of it, only knows that he feels full to bursting without any clue how to ease the pressure.

So Tony lays there because it's his bed after all. He could get up and head to the shower or the kitchen or his workshop or something, but he can't quite bring himself to effectively kick Steve out of his bed by doing so. It's probably a bad idea to open his mouth because he'll fuck this up. He'll let on too much because Steve seems able to remove Tony's brain-to-mouth filter at normal times; it's amped by several factors of ten when Tony's orgasm-drunk. So yeah, best to keep the trap shut.

"Steve," Tony says, and internally face-palms.  _ Idiot _ .

"Mm," says Steve, facing away, in an unreadable tone. It's not friendly. It's not angry.

Tony's stomach does a flip like when he stood in front of a bunch of reporters and made the on-the-spot decision to identify himself to the whole world at once.  _ Fuck it. Fuck it? Go all in?  _

"This...ah... arrangement."

"Mm," says Steve, more a grunt than anything.  _ Shit _ .

"Is it— does it." Tony huffs through his nose. This is so much easier when he's talking shit. Words come easily then.

Steve's in-breath does a little hitch. Tony hopes he isn't falling asleep already. It is very late, and not everyone keeps Tony's atypical sleep schedule.

"I'm not sure it's working for me," Tony says.

Silence from Steve.

Tony rolls over so he's facing Steve's back. He touches the curve of Steve's bicep, drawing a finger up to the swell of his shoulder.

"That's," Steve says. "All right. Fine. I'll..." he trails off.

Tony furrows his brow. Whatever he was expecting, this wasn't it.

"Fine? What's fine? I mean. What now then? I'm not good at this part."

Steve rolls onto his back but doesn't look at Tony. He's glowering at the ceiling, which is all wrong. Tony knew he'd fuck it up, but he didn't think he'd fuck it up without having any idea how he'd done it.

"That's all right, Tony," Steve's voice is tight and controlled, more Captain than Steve. "I knew. I knew it was coming. It's fine, really."

He doesn't look fine, not at all. It isn't making any sense to Tony and he can't run through all the scenarios of what could be going on in Steve's head, not when Tony's addled from all the sex and recent sudden self-awareness about feelings. So Tony thunks his head on Steve's shoulder, takes a steadying breath, and steels himself.

"Look, I'm not good at any of this."

"Me neither."

"Let me finish. I'm trying to confess here."

Steve turns his head towards Tony then, frown deepening. It's so reminiscent of Pepper's angry/confused face that Tony wonders if he's headed down the same dead-end road. It throws him, and for a moment he blasts through a couple of rapid-fire thoughts. The first is how badly he fucked up with Pepper in a million ways, but mostly by being an Avenger, putting her in danger, and devoting so much time and energy to putting himself in danger, which seemed to be the main thing that drove her crazy. The next thought is a flash of Steve hurling himself backwards off the freighter on that last mission, into the arms of Falcon who’d swept him off to the next strategic point. And Tony thinks that maybe this is different. Maybe what he needs is someone who's as demented as he is about the whole thing: the adrenaline, the self-sacrifice, the good-guy glow of knowing he's on the right side this time. He looks at the face in front of him, looking back at him so searchingly.

This stupid perfect face that Tony wants to lean in and kiss, not to start anything up again but to hold and… yeah, Tony is totally gone.  _ Dammit _ .

He resists the urge because he's supposed to muster up some words, which are somehow even harder because if anything, he's worse now that he’s accepting he might have actual scary-ass feelings for Steve. He smiles, half laughing at himself.

"What, what's so funny?" Steve demands, and fair enough. 

"Me. I'm an idiot."  _ About you. I'm apparently crazy-stupid about you. _

"...and?"

"I was thinking. What if we... didn't fuck other people?"

Steve's frown disappears, but he's blank now, and Tony braces himself. Steve looks like he's cycling through several possible responses. He can see as Steve considers and dismisses each one.

After an agonisingly long moment: "Were you under the impression that I was having all kinds of sex elsewhere?" One of Steve's eyebrows twitches upwards, and Tony gets a rush of affection because he kind of loves Steve's expressiveness.  _ Oh, I’m so screwed. _

Then he realises Steve's asked a question and he considers it. "I never thought about it," he says, and as soon as it's out of his mouth he knows it's a lie. Now that he thinks about Steve having sex with someone else he gets a visceral urge to reject the thought entirely. So actually it’s probable that this is something he actively avoided thinking about. Okay, so maybe this whole feelings thing isn't as out of the blue as he thought. "All right, full disclosure, I think I tried not... wait.” Tony backtracks to his own question and Steve’s response. “We’re getting off track here. You haven't answered the question."

Steve looks deadly serious, and Tony chews on his lip as he waits.

"What are you suggesting, that we be exclusive? Like. Dating?" The furrow again. Tony doesn't know what to do with that, because he can't tell if this response is positive or what. This is like that time the Mark 22’s electrics got all fucked up and Jarvis's readings were totally garbled and Tony had to fly in the dark with no data. He panics.

"Yeah, I mean, not to put too fine a point on it or anything. I just thought, maybe you don't go jumping into other peoples' beds, and I don't go jumping into other peoples' beds," and that pulls down one corner of Steve's mouth so Tony qualifies. "I haven't, by the way. Well, once, near the beginning, but between building the latest suit, designing new armour for Clint, and giant crocodile villains, you know, all that stuff. I've been a bit busy. But anyway. None of that any more, just. Maybe continuing to not... yeah, dating I guess. If you want to label it."  _ Perfect. This is why I should've kept my trap shut. _

Steve holds Tony's gaze steady, which is unnerving, but the furrow is gone.

"That was the most side-stepping I've seen you do, and that's saying something.”

Tony half nods in acknowledgement as Steve’s gaze goes distant with thought. Then he snaps his attention back to Tony with the kind of expectant focus that always makes Tony feel a little laid bare. “Ask me a question I can say yes or no to." Steve’s serious but there's a smile is trying to come out, Tony can tell, so Tony uses his best adorable scamp expression to tease up the corners of Steve’s mouth a little more.

"Gotta be like that, does it? Okay. Fine.” Tony takes a steadying breath, closes his eyes and gets serious again. He wonders what the question even is because this is the basic problem, he’s only just come to his own realisations and hasn’t thought it all the way through. It reminds him again of the press conference, of sitting on the knowledge of his identity and knowing that revealing it will change everything. And he feels like he did then, that although it’d be safer and easier for everyone if he kept a lid on it, he can’t. He has is the urge to move forward, not to dance around the truth and say bland, feather-smoothing things to maintain the status quo and ease into things slowly. So he does what he did then in front of all the reporters: takes a breath, opens his eyes, and lets the truth form its own words. “Steve, will you be my boyfriend?"

Steve's eyebrows shoot up in surprise and a laugh bubbles up. Is Steve laughing at him? But no, that’s not really like Steve, he’s not mean. Stubborn, yes. Prickly as fuck, and occasionally brooding. But not mean. 

"That overshot what I thought you'd muster up,” Steve says, which, okay. This whole thing has overshot what Tony expected of himself so at least they’re on the same page. They stare at each other for several long seconds while Tony tries to take in any available data Steve’s face has to offer.

"Oh come on, don't leave me hanging,” Tony says. “That's just cruel."

Another heartstopping eternity while Steve looks down. His lashes are dark, his lower lip still flushed and full from earlier activities.  _ Say yes, say yes. _

"Yeah," Steve bites his lips down on a smile, like he's trying to keep a lid on it.

“Yeah?” Tony coaxes Steve to look back up, and finds a brightness in Steve’s eyes, a happy crinkle there.

“Yes,” Steve says, and doesn’t bite down this time. He beams, golden sunshine.

All that fullness Tony felt from earlier spills over then, but it doesn't stop, it just keeps spilling and spilling, and it's ridiculous how happy Tony feels. He doesn't deserve to feel like this at all, but he'll take it.

Tony takes his kiss then, the one he really wanted: soft and slow. One of Steve's hands come up to cup his cheek, a gentle pressure. It's achingly tender and Tony kind of wants to die with it, the way his heart is thumping. But he's locked in, unable to speed up, unable to break, just kisses and kisses.

***


End file.
